Three months of graceful living in Buenos Aires. None of the unpleasantness, scams or thievery that are mentioned in dire warnings on the various expat websites that I occasionally peruse, have yet impacted on my existence. Until tonight! Yes the odd taxi driver has tried it on and I have seen the legendary motochorros in action, whipping a fat Rolex off the wrist of an American tourist (Che, this is a third world country, put the status symbol in the safe). I have been to some great restaurants and some lousy ones, but the latter soon realise I am not shy and rectify the situation one way or another.
Tonight however I attended an event that was appallingly bad value, and worse, organised by expats who shamelessly brushed off any criticism. The event was a wine tasting in Palermo organised by Expat Connections. We had been invited by a girlfriend and as wine lovers quickly acquiesced. Held in a the private room of a Palermo bar, we turned up at 8.00, parted with 65 pesos each and joined about 30 other attendees. My heart sank when the organiser, apparently a wine expert from the company Vinosaires, started his introductory remarks. “We are not here to sell you wine” he stated. Why not I thought? If I go to a wine tasting and drink a wine that impresses me, I want to buy it! “Don’t worry though, the wines you will drink tonight are all readily available in virtually any supermarket”. What? So why am I here? I was hoping to discover something new! “And all the wines we are drinking tonight” he continued proudly “are available for less than 20 pesos a bottle”. Hang on, we have just paid 195 pesos between the 3 of us to try the cheapest Argentine wine. Why didn’t we just buy a dozen bottles randomly at the supermarket. Then the so called sommelier gave us a bit of guff about typical varietals, the wine making process (i.e. she mentioned sugar, yeast and throwing it into a bit of oak) and some inconsequential trivia before we moved on to taste the 3 wines. Yes, that’s not a typo, this was a tasting of three wines all under 20 pesos. A mini tasting of thrifty proportions. In tasting measures a cumulative glass! Or about 5 pesos worth at the maximum price.
And the wines? Horrible, completely undrinkable for the purposes of pleasure, though fine if they were serving as an anaesthetic before a night of sleeping rough. But you can probably find a pleasant room here for 65 pesos so I doubt this was the audience’s prime consideration. In my limited experience, red wines (which all 3 were) are overvalued here, while you can actually find clean, well made whites at 20 pesos a bottle. The reds however have overlarge flavours, hefty alcohol contents and need to be of a much higher quality to be palatable. Yes, they tried to distract our attention with guess the varietal competitions and an infantile quiz of the sort that if you had a basic knowledge of wine or had paid scant attention to the sommelier’s ramblings you couldn’t fail to get 9 out of 10. Yes they produced a picada of the worst quality processed ham and pate. But we were here to be impressed by wine.
So had the Vinosaires team travelled far and wide to select some hidden gems? No they gave us the third line wines from major producers like Trapiche and Salentein, bodegas that anyone who has ever looked at a restaurant menu would be familiar with. Even the Bodegas know these are pretty poor wines, which is why they are their third lines.
Ok, mea culpa, I should have looked at Vinosaires’ website and realised they are not a wine company but an event company and as such need to make money by keeping costs low and margins high! But for the same price we could have been drinking top of the range Ruttini or my favourite Pulenta. We could have availed ourselves of a gooseberry flavoured sauvignon or a beautiful dulce. So next time you feel the need to try a variety of wines, give me a ring. I will happily take your money, spend it all on fine wine and enjoy sharing it with you. I will even nip down to the market in San Telmo and provide a top class picada of the best local hams, salamis and cheeses. Just to show these guys how it should be done!
The moral of the story? Beware of expats who need to make money….out of you!